NFL Week One Preview

Ohhhhhhh yes. Time to watch the guys who get paid to play! The NFL regular season gets started this Thursday night when the Steelers host the Titans. I wonder if Clemson @ Georgia Tech is going to put up a fight for ratings? Any excuse I have to NOT watch a Steelers game, I'll take it. It is amazing how many bootleg Steelers' fans there are out there now. They are entering the realm of the Red Sox and Lakers. If I hear one more person explain their allegiance based on "my grandfather was born in Pittsburgh," I'm going to lose it. Maybe the fake rape case against Big Ben will deter a few people from jumping on the bandwagon, but I doubt it.

There is only one problem with the NFL- there are simply too many games on at one time to be able to watch them all. Trust me, we try to watch them all at my house: three tv's and a laptop or two is still not enough. So I'll go ahead and give you my best advice on what to spend your time watching this week. Obviously if you're a Vikings fan, but your probably not since they have the lowest revenue in the NFL year in and year out, you're going to want to watch the Vikings. But if you have no team allegiances, or your team plays on Thursday (shaking my head at you, Steelers fans), here is look at the week one matchups:

Avoid at all costs:

Denver @ Cincinatti: this should be one of the uglier games of the week. While it may be close, because both teams should be pretty awful, I've had my fill of the Bengals through Hard Knocks, and Kyle Orton playing quarterback makes me wonder if I could have made it in the NFL. Pass on this one (if you must, take the Bengals to cover 4 at home).

New York Jets @ Houston: while it may be intriguing to see how Mark Sanchez handles his first NFL start, there is no reason anyone outside of New York or Houston should be watching this one (I do like the Jets +4.5 in this one)

Detroit @ New Orleans: again, it is tempting to watch how rookie Matt Stafford handles his first start, but you can see all that on the highlights. He should do better against the Saints secondary than against most teams this year. We'll see if the Saints offense can pick up where they left off (and I think they can, but I don't like them as a 13 point favorite, take the Lions +13)

Kansas City @ Baltimore: this is tough for me to say, but no one wants to watch this game besides Ravens and Chiefs fans. Baltimore should dominate this game from the beginning against a KC team that has a ton of new faces and personnel. I'll be watching, but I don't expect many people to (I don't think the Ravens will cover 13, but it won't ever be a close game. Take KC +13).

San Francisco @ Arizona: seriously, its the 49ers. Even if they win a few games this year, it won't be fun to watch (I like the Cardinals to cover 6.5 at home in this one, a LOT).

St. Louis @ Seattle: two of the really bad teams from last year. With Hasselback returning to healthy form, the Seahawks should be able to handle a St. Louis team that looks like it is a long way from being any type of contender (i think it is closer than 8.5 though, take St. Louis +8.5)

Watchable for the whole family:

Miami @ Atlanta: sophomore slump or big leap in year two for Matt Ryan? I think the addition of Tony Gonzalez will really add a lot to the Atlanta offense. Miami should be decent this year as well. Definitely a watchable game that could be close (I like Atlanta -4 at home).

Minnesota @ Cleveland: if only there were some offseason headlines to follow about quarterbacks in this game, it might be worth watching. Favre in purple and Brady Quinn, no wait, Derek Anderson, or is it Quinn? I guess we will have to watch and see (give me the Vikes -4).

Jacksonville @ Indy: can Peyton make the Colts a threat to win the Superbowl once again, without Marvin Harrison in the picture? Joseph Addai better get back to his rookie form if that is going to happen (I like the Colts -7).

Dallas @ Tampa Bay: not much appealing about this one, but everyone likes to watch America's team play, right? Tampa's quarterback situation should be a recurring comedic theme this year so I want to be in on the joke early (I like Dallas to cover 6 on the road).

Washington @ NY Giants: did you hear that Plaxico shot himself? And the Redskins tried to shoot Jason Campbell with possible talks of trades and drafting a rookie QB. This is a big game for both teams in week one (I think the Giants win, but the Skins cover 6.5).

Philadelphia @ Carolina: wouldn't we all be reallllllly excited if Vick was playing in this game? No. Why do people even care about Vick at this point? He is a backup, and McNabb is pretty damn good, good enough to make the Superbowl this year, in my opinion (Eagles cover -1.5)

San Diego @ Oakland: the only reason this one didn't get lumped into the "avoid" category is because its on Monday Night Football, although its the late game that most people will fall asleep to. Nothing better than falling asleep to live football!! (San Diego covers -9)

Games you don't want to miss:

Tennessee @ Pittsburgh: first game of the season, Thursday night, defending champs against the team who won the most regular season games last year- should be a good watch (Pitt wins a close one, but Tenn covers +6.5)

Chicago @ Green Bay: this is the Sunday night game and, therefore, must be watched. Jay Cutler's debut as a Bear makes it a little more interesting. I'm looking forward to this one (Green Bay covers -3.5 at home).

Buffalo @ New England: the first Monday Night Football game of the year, how can you not watch? Plus America's most perfect man makes his return to football. Get ready for 8,000 close ups of Tom Brady's knee. Bellicheck will make a statement that the Pats are back (Pats cover -10.5)

Well now that you know what to watch, get out there and do it! Just don't gamble. But, if you must- here is my teaser of the week: Dallas +1 @ TB, Pats -4.5 against the Bills, and if you must take a third team: Minnesota +2 @ Cleveland.